When you become overwhelmed

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Life gets really busy. Sometimes it gets difficult to do everything. We all can manage to meet our deadlines at work, keep up with buying groceries, and other necessities that have to get done. Even when I am manically busy I still manage to eat. But what about the other stuff? The stuff I want to do, but never do.

Have you ever been to a family gathering, like a Christmas dinner and had a relative tell you to “make time” for the important things? How do you make time? That old saying if it is important you will find a way, if it is not you will find an excuse. I do not believe that is entirely being fair.

No matter how hard I try. There all this stuff that isn’t a necessity that doesn’t get done. Like visiting your grandparents or walking your dog. There are all things we have that make us feel guilty, like we aren’t doing enough. I have not had the time to drive 1 hour to visit my grandparents, so I am a bad person. This doesn’t seem to be a fair conclusion. Recently I have felt lazy. Like I am not doing enough. I should walk my dog more, I have should have lunch withhold friends. I recently finished my master’s degree and while I was in school I always had the excuse that I was in school and don’t have time. Now that I am done with school I feel like I have even less time. I don’t update my blog enough, I am not making art like I use to and I don’t walk my dog enough. Granted I love my dog and if I did have the time I would walk her three times a day. She is a 10 pound poodle so I don’t know if she would want to go on a long walk three times a day. But I still feel guilty. I know parents feel this way. I heard a report on NPR about how parents are spending more time with kids than ever before but the standards for good parents has gotten ridiculous. I believe life standards have gotten ridiculous.

I think we are all held to this standard that we should be doing more. That we aren’t being the best we can be. So I thought I would share with you the insights I have had over the last month of working two jobs, while starting an at home business, while enjoying being 25.

FIRST!

Let it go. No, not frozen style. Just forgive yourself. You are busy. Life can get crazy. It’s not you. Do not place blame on yourself. If you need a nap, take a nap. If you don’t do the dishes tonight, you can do them tomorrow. We set these artificial boundaries in our minds that only make us feel bad when we don’t achieve them. It is ok. You do not have to do everything according to this imaginary timeline.

I feel like there is this idea in our society that you must get married, buy a house, start a family, etc. Why? Why do we have to do all these things according to a prescribed timeline? We don’t have to do anything. You don’t even really figure out who you are until you are in your 30’s, slow down. It is not a race. We are all forging our own path and it’s going to be different for everyone.

Second!

Create healthy habits. What I mean, is to take a moment every day to take the time to do something that makes you happy. Every day when you get home talk to your dog for five minutes, pay attention to solely that dog for 5 minutes. That’s seems silly, but dogs biologically make you happy, and biologically make your dog happy. It is never really about the amount of something it’s the gusto behind it. If you don’t have a dog, do that to your cat or child. Or something else, call you mom every day. Take a walk with your partner. DO something every day that makes you smile and make a habit of it. This is important. You happiness is as important as eating and meeting deadlines.

Finally.

Work towards your goals. Do one small thing every day that contributes to your goals. Spend 5 minutes drawing. We forget to focus on ourselves when we get busy. We may get self absorbed or self centered, but when was the last time you gave yourself some quality time. Relationships need nurture and that cannot be truer than with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is critical, when that starts to fall apart, you start to feel that nagging worthless feeling, that won’t make you more time and it won’t make you happier.

I spent two months feeling sorry for myself. I neglected myself, I focused on the negative, and I gotta tell you, it did not help me find a job. It is easy to feel overwhelmed and far away from your goals. But remember to take a deep breath and keep breathing. Nothing happens overnight, success is purely the product of hard work. Keep going. Keep smiling. And keep trying.

<3 Thea

What do you want to do with your life?

Where do you want to be in ten years?

We all put this question on the back burner and I think it’s because it seems far enough removed from our immediate future to really care about it. It’s easy to be ambitious about our future selves, and give ourselves more credit than we probably deserve. I am graduating with my Masters in the fall and I have no job prospects. While this scares the crap out of me, I still have to finish writing my thesis, and at the moment that seems scarier.

What are you doing next year?

I am turning 25 in July. That isn’t old but its dawning on me now that I am not a teenager anymore. I can’t be “the student” for much longer, I have to be an adult. This got me thinking about where I want to go and what I want to do.
I am not trying to scare you, I am trying to motivate you. Today I had a wakeup call. I have been feeling extremely lazy and I have been neglecting this blog. Mostly because it’s clear my followers are all spammers or they don’t speak English and from their comments I can tell they don’t read my actual posts. But maybe if I put more of myself into my posts, you will read them?

My goals right now are
1. Finish this semester strong, with high grades
2. Finish my thesis by August
3. Update this blog at least 3 times a week
4. Work on my graphic design skills
5. Reevaluate what I want to be

I always thought I would have my own talk show by now. I am kind of a fitness junkie and I thought I could start my own gym. All I need is a certified personal trainer and a nutritionist and together the three of us could revolutionize fitness. I don’t think that my fantasies are just going to magically happen one day. I doubt I will get on TV or Nike will pay me to wear their clothes. But I also don’t think I should give up on myself or my dream. I look at the Bloglates girl and the Tone it Up girls and how much they have accomplished, but also how hard they have worked. I am still figuring out who I am and I am still young.
I want you to know that if you are out their struggling, or doubting yourself. You can do it. If you want to be a top chef, I believe you can be. If you want to work for NASA I think you can. All you need is a little hard work and luck. I believe in you. If you’re willing to work hard and to try, I believe you really can achieve anything. You just have to want it.

 

My 25 year goals are:
1. Run a Half Marathon
2. Finish my Thesis and graduate with my Masters
3. Find a job I care about
4. Start paying off my student Debt
5. Save money for my trip to Europe

I don’t know why we get down on ourselves or beat ourselves up. There is always room for improvement but you should never doubt your own self worth. Where will you be in ten years, is something we should all think about more. What do you want to do in 10 years? what can you do right now to make yourself better, happier, or more positive?

The real question is WHERE do you want to be in a year?
What are your goals?
How do you stay motivated?

Send me your two lists of 5, what you want to do this year, and what are your future goals?