Life gets really busy. Sometimes it gets difficult to do everything. We all can manage to meet our deadlines at work, keep up with buying groceries, and other necessities that have to get done. Even when I am manically busy I still manage to eat. But what about the other stuff? The stuff I want to do, but never do.
Have you ever been to a family gathering, like a Christmas dinner and had a relative tell you to “make time” for the important things? How do you make time? That old saying if it is important you will find a way, if it is not you will find an excuse. I do not believe that is entirely being fair.
No matter how hard I try. There all this stuff that isn’t a necessity that doesn’t get done. Like visiting your grandparents or walking your dog. There are all things we have that make us feel guilty, like we aren’t doing enough. I have not had the time to drive 1 hour to visit my grandparents, so I am a bad person. This doesn’t seem to be a fair conclusion. Recently I have felt lazy. Like I am not doing enough. I should walk my dog more, I have should have lunch withhold friends. I recently finished my master’s degree and while I was in school I always had the excuse that I was in school and don’t have time. Now that I am done with school I feel like I have even less time. I don’t update my blog enough, I am not making art like I use to and I don’t walk my dog enough. Granted I love my dog and if I did have the time I would walk her three times a day. She is a 10 pound poodle so I don’t know if she would want to go on a long walk three times a day. But I still feel guilty. I know parents feel this way. I heard a report on NPR about how parents are spending more time with kids than ever before but the standards for good parents has gotten ridiculous. I believe life standards have gotten ridiculous.
I think we are all held to this standard that we should be doing more. That we aren’t being the best we can be. So I thought I would share with you the insights I have had over the last month of working two jobs, while starting an at home business, while enjoying being 25.
Let it go. No, not frozen style. Just forgive yourself. You are busy. Life can get crazy. It’s not you. Do not place blame on yourself. If you need a nap, take a nap. If you don’t do the dishes tonight, you can do them tomorrow. We set these artificial boundaries in our minds that only make us feel bad when we don’t achieve them. It is ok. You do not have to do everything according to this imaginary timeline.
I feel like there is this idea in our society that you must get married, buy a house, start a family, etc. Why? Why do we have to do all these things according to a prescribed timeline? We don’t have to do anything. You don’t even really figure out who you are until you are in your 30’s, slow down. It is not a race. We are all forging our own path and it’s going to be different for everyone.
Create healthy habits. What I mean, is to take a moment every day to take the time to do something that makes you happy. Every day when you get home talk to your dog for five minutes, pay attention to solely that dog for 5 minutes. That’s seems silly, but dogs biologically make you happy, and biologically make your dog happy. It is never really about the amount of something it’s the gusto behind it. If you don’t have a dog, do that to your cat or child. Or something else, call you mom every day. Take a walk with your partner. DO something every day that makes you smile and make a habit of it. This is important. You happiness is as important as eating and meeting deadlines.
Work towards your goals. Do one small thing every day that contributes to your goals. Spend 5 minutes drawing. We forget to focus on ourselves when we get busy. We may get self absorbed or self centered, but when was the last time you gave yourself some quality time. Relationships need nurture and that cannot be truer than with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is critical, when that starts to fall apart, you start to feel that nagging worthless feeling, that won’t make you more time and it won’t make you happier.
I spent two months feeling sorry for myself. I neglected myself, I focused on the negative, and I gotta tell you, it did not help me find a job. It is easy to feel overwhelmed and far away from your goals. But remember to take a deep breath and keep breathing. Nothing happens overnight, success is purely the product of hard work. Keep going. Keep smiling. And keep trying.